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A Survival Guide for Manual Processors
Welcome to Planet Earth. Part 1 To my mannies reading this: I know right now, even sitting down to read this appears to be high risk/ low benefit to your resources in some way. (Or at least the risk outweighs the perceived benefit). You are taking your precious time and mental energy and spending it on something that you think has a very low chance of enhancing your life or relationships (Is that what you are thinking?) Yet, here you are. You might be doing this ONLY because a loved one has told, convinced, begged, or pleaded with you to do it. There seems to be no way this could…
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Attn: Mannies – Change Box/ Pause box
Hey guys!! I’m always looking for ways to automate more processes for you guys! If change could be easy, would that be helpful? Heres a box to help you navigate change. Make sure you have mastered the first two boxes (enrichment and beyond control) before you worry about anything else, or this will just OVERWHELM you with MORE things your brain has to worry about. When layered on the proper foundation, this will be EASIER for you!! Name: Pause/ On-Hold/Transition Box (Advanced) Purpose: This box helps your mind comprehend change so it doesn’t hurt nearly as much like it used to. Change will become as easy as _______ (insert easy…
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The Social Code (algorithm)
Ok Mannies! Hot off the press🗣 I wanted to give you a social code I just figured out, i just finally put the pieces together and told Sean this on Sunday. The boxes actually naturally help with this when you use them, but sometimes it’s too hard to see how to apply them during conversations, etc… THIS IS NOT A LIST OF SOCIAL DO’S AND DONT’S! That’s a NIGHTMARE for a manual processor who is already thinking of so many things. I’m hoping this pattern will become automatic for you, let me know how your brain absorbs this in the comments. (My husband already started to subconsciously apply it) The…
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Part 9- Another New BOX- Safety Box
A very prominent issue I hear from both sides is that there is a struggle to gauge risky behavior with manual processors. Wives that question their husbands judgement, husbands offended that their wives are implying they’re incompetent and can’t take care of children (just an example)Parents who are shocked and bewildered by the behavior their Manny child does (one time Cameron dropped a melon on his brother’s head, his response was that he asked the 18 month old permission before he did it.) Not only these, but individuals who find themselves in undesirable situations time and time again because they’re struggling to think through a decision before it gets too…
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Part 8- Decision Tree For Manual Processors
I made a decision tree, as well as a 1 page worksheets for both the Enrichment and Beyond Control box. I also explain the definitions of each resource your Manny will be needing to evaluate. I CANNOT stress enough that THIS SURVEYING of RESOURCES is EXTREMELY stressful to conduct as a manual processor. THIS. WILL. HELP. THEM. SEE. IT. ALL. IN. ONE. SPOT. for the VERY FIRST TIME. WE ALL survey our resources before we engage in any activity or before we subconsciously absorb information. If our brain determines it to be a threat it WILL reject it. Automatic processors are doing this so unconsciously that they are UNAWARE of…
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Part 7 BRAND NEW BOX!!!!
We’ve been working behind the scenes for a long time, I have several more boxes, as well as boxes that would be applicable and simplified for children or teens. But this one is an advanced box but I still think it will be easy to learn. Guys, this is so exciting!! BRAND NEW BOX BOX FIVE- Offensive Box- Strategy Box Name: Life Experience Box Purpose: This box is the first in a new series I’m sure. It’s been rolling around in my brain for a while but all the elements finally came together while I was revising the beyond control box. The past boxes were your first two line of…
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Update – November 1, 2021
I feel like I learn things new everyday regarding this “theory”. Yesterday we had a blowup! An ugly one, it was fast and we recovered quickly (1 hour turn around and we salvaged the rest of the night) when in the past an escalation like that would have lasted for days. If not a whole week! I got angry at him. I said it made me upset that he refused to use the tools I’ve given him when he gets mad. Sometimes I remind him and I see an instant softening, his brain instantly relaxes and he will soften and within seconds he’s already cracking a joke about what he…
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Part 6- Why we need to NEVER label them HFA/Aspergers again.
How this method taught me just HOW damaging that label was (This frame of mind, is mainly how it relates to my late diagnosed husband). This dawned on me yesterday morning. I’ve been thinking about it all day. I talked to my husband about it again. I had already mentioned it to him since our discovery. But EVERY DAY new things hit me, at new levels, at deeper levels, they hit me sideways and criss-cross and horizontal. This just goes SO DEEP, yet it’s SO LITERAL It hurts my brain to think so concretely like this. (Simply because I can’t its REALLY hard to shut off the areas of the…
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Part 5- How to introduce and implement these concepts with your Manny partner.
You are not “responsible” for “fixing” or teaching another grown-up anything Some women get really triggered by this concept. And considering the huge misunderstanding we’ve all been submerged in for years, this is true. But like with anything, you can get stuck on this concept, or you can realize that it can change in different circumstances. The 2 box method explains how we can help our partners and show them they don’t have to be in such mental distress. This helps them become the men we need them to be See it here. Why I don’t have a problem “teaching” a grown man to function He never asked to be…
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Part 4- Why this theory has the potential to help all Mannies
The common thread, the center of it all -Manual Brain Processing. *Please note I am attempting to simplify the most abstract of concepts, not intending to generalize* THIS IS THE ONE thing that BINDS ALL MANNIES TO THE SPECTRUM. This is why I believe this theory can be applied to EVERY Aspergers. If they do not manually operate their brains, they are not on the spectrum and they Have an automatic (Neurotypical) brain. That’s the one thing that ties them all together. They all have different symptoms, behaviors and levels of functioning, but THIS is the one that ties them to the spectrum. The thing that makes it hard, is…
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Part 3- When an Manny falls in love- An Epic love story
Here’s a super simplified story about this 2 box theory that blew our minds on Sunday. Because the common thread in Mannies is their social impairments that requires so much extra energy to communicate, at their core for mental energy they’ve come up with a “mental energy budget.” The brain in distress shuts down and only keeps what it understands while rejecting what it doesn’t. So they absorb (sort) everything from 2 boxes. Only keeping information that’s necessary and sensible, and discarding as often as possible (not necessary, trash bin files) Necessary-What is relevant, sensible and purposeful. Things here would be special interests, mentally Affordable things (ex: math is mentally…
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Part 2- How we have Approached Mannies WRONG all this time.
Since my brain explosion, I have been searching for scenarios in my life where it can apply, I haven’t found one yet that I can’t translate. I hadn’t tried to apply it to my youngest until this morning when he had a meltdown over going to school. I put it to the test. While applying it, I came to the realization just how WRONG I had been all this time and how with this new knowledge, I was finally going to be able to give my child the tools he needed to function. The Best Intentions We’ve all had the best intentions with our Manny loved ones. Our goal is…
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Part 1- Bridging the Gap-Automating the Manual Processor- The experience that changed our lives
*Edited in May 2020 Its been months since we’ve had our discovery and each day we face more issues that can always get boiled down to this theory. It’s been paramount for me in having peace of mind, in my husband feeling understood and seen, and for healing our marriage from the YEARS of complete and total misunderstandings and miscommunications. My next mission is to see how I can apply and help my two sons. Because for the first time, I can finally put into perspective just how HARD the journey ahead will be for them, and I want to give them every tool I can so they can be…
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Introductions
Hi! I’m Alicia! I’m a 34-year-old mother to 4 sons. My husband Sean and I have been married for nearly 14 years. Our Sons are 13, 10, 8, 6. About 2.5 years apart for all of them. Between their lives and our lives, things are always crazy! Our life is nothing short of a roller coaster. I feel like we got an extra dose of crazy going on here. And I want to document everything and be 100% real with you all. I NEVER want to send the image that life is perfect. It’s NOT. Our life is crazy and stressful, and there are days I am *THIS CLOSE* to…
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My Journey of healing, health, and self-love.
Here I am just feeling myself today. No Snapchat filter to remove my wrinkles and make me look ten years younger. No makeup. No false eyelashes, no lip plumping. My freckles are out, my thick arms, no supportive bra, my birthmark on my shoulder that looks like a bruise, I love her too. I love my skin, and my beautiful brown eyes (in case you’re wondering because I am still obsessed with my blue eyes contacts) Now I dress myself up because it brings me joy. But I’m perfectly content with who I am naturally. TL;DR I get super vulnerable with ALL of you. I love myself and I’ve beat…
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Hello world!
This is going to be my EVERYTHING blog! Turns out I have a lot to say, and some people like it, so I’ll share it and see where the wind takes it!
